Oh, you guys…
Did you know that for the past six months I’ve been without a personal computer?
My laptop went last April, and because I had nothing backed up, I lost a combined total of about 130,000 words from various WIPs, short stories, and poems, not to mention my pictures and music.
I filed it in the crap happens folder, and moved on.
Thankfully, I had an old PC that I was able to use to get blog posts written. I was a little depressed at the prospect of having to start anything I’d been working on and lost, so I didn’t do much fiction writing. At the end of May, a fantasy series I’d been thinking about started to solidify and I started typing up plot notes. I was getting back into my groove and enjoying writing again.
Then, one day, a blue screen came up notifying me of imminent hard drive failure. My plot notes were saved on a thumb drive this time, because believe it or not, I do learn from my mishaps.
Crap happens. Moving on.
I hustled, tapping out blog posts on my Kindle. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I have a will of iron. (Seriously. Y’all don’t even know.) As with when I lost my laptop, I couldn’t bring myself to work on any of my fiction WIPs.
Something about Christmas brings out my inner writer, though, and I pulled out a notebook and did it up the old-fashioned way on something I’ve been working on for twelve years. (My baby, the one you all have heard so much about lately, Rachael’s Unfolding).
When I went to my parents’ for Christmas, my awesome little brother offered to let me borrow his old PC, since he wasn’t using it. I was so grateful because writing with my cold, stiff, carpal tunnel-y right hand is slow going.
Since then, I’ve made significant progress with Rachael’s Unfolding, and have gotten the Small, But Wise curriculum whipped into shape for a January 26 release. Yesterday, I felt confident enough in the status of the curriculum to announce the release, and I wrote an insanely important scene in Rachael’s Unfolding. Even though I have the flu, my body feels like it’s been beaten up, and I can’t keep anything down, I felt like a champ yesterday.
Before I went to bed, I shut down the computer and unplugged the surge protector as I always do.
This morning. This morning, I turned on the computer that my brother so generously let me borrow and I got a fuzzy screen and beeping noise. Smells like another hard drive failure. With it, I’ve lost 11,000 words in Rachael’s Unfolding and the entire Small, But Wise curriculum, because there were zero signs that this was going to happen, and I didn’t think I’d need to back it up. (My mistake. I should definitely know better.)
I could put this in the crap happens folder and hustle again, but something about this happening every time I find my groove again makes me not even want to try. Besides, at this point, it feels a little deliberate, and I’m not sure if that means I should fight through or give up. My iron will? Molten. Still iron, but it needs to cool.
So I think I’m done writing, and if you don’t hear from me for a while, that’s why. I can’t write if I’m constantly waiting for the hammer to drop, and after three times, I’m pretty sure if I keep going, I’m going to keep losing.
I don’t want to keep losing, y’all.