This week, for #1lineWed (the theme is Christmas or a festive occasion) on Twitter, I’m offering some awkward questions and answers that come up around my characters’ dinner table, and some of the responses.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll find some inspiration for how to handle your own nosy relatives this holiday season. Though … hopefully your family gatherings don’t go down this way.
“You two have been married five years.” It’s an accusation from Mrs. DeBoer, leveled at my husband and I. “When are you going to have children?”
Joey puts an arm around me. “We’re not. At least, not biologically.”
“So, Julia,” Mrs. DeBoer says, “have you met a young man yet?”
A smile plays at the corner of Julia’s mouth. “I’ve met a lot of young men, Mrs. DeBoer.”
I snort, but Ashlee shakes her head. “That is not what Momma DeBoer meant, Julia. She’s teasing, Momma.”
“Oh,” Mrs. DeBoer says, winking. “How do you meet all of these young men?”
“The usual places,” Julia says. “Just today, I met one on the street.”
“Well,” Daddy says, “you know where to send them if it ever gets serious.”
When she comes back, she places her hands on her hips. “I love you, Marti, but seriously now. Why?”
I busy myself packaging leftovers. “Why is he so nosy?”
“He’s not nosy,” Ashlee replies. “He’s interested.”
“I’ll say,” Julia says.
“It’s probably just as well,” Pastor DeBoer says. “Have I ever told you that some people believe the antichrist will be the product of an interracial union?”
“Yes,” I say. “You’ve mentioned it a time or two.”
Before I can launch into an eschatological lecture, Joey says, “Did you hear that from the same people who told you about the uteruses of women on birth control?”