When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

I think it was last May I was sitting at my parents’ kitchen table talking to an insurance agent at Liberty Mutual, trying to get a quote for insuring my car.  He told me I wouldn’t be able to insure my own (okay, technically CO-owned, even though I’m paying for it) vehicle until it was paid off, and the title had been transferred to me (another costly venture).  This didn’t end up being accurate information (this particular company just didn’t want to deal with me, they wanted to deal with my dad, who co-owns my car, and who also owns a fleet of other vehicles. Bundle rates and such), but I didn’t know that at the time and  all I could think was, “I’m not going to Seattle until September 2015.”

It seemed like a really long time a way, especially with how long I’d been waiting, and so I just gave up on going.

Now, with slightly less than eight months to go (and a complete change of heart), I don’t know what I was thinking.  This past week, I’ve been hit with the realization that I have more to do than I have time to do it all in.  Frankly, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed since the New Year .

When I’m overwhelmed, I always think of the Psalm, “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalm 62:1).  And as I was pondering this God whispered to my heart: “Bethel.”  Bethel means House of God, and it’s first mentioned in Genesis 28, when God reveals Himself to Jacob.  He says, “I am with you, and will watch over you wherever you go…I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you” (Genesis 28:15).

I am with you.

I will watch over you wherever you go.

I will not leave you.

God is with me, He’s watching over me in this relocation (even in the pre-relocation), and He’s not going to leave me to figure things out on my own.

Because let’s be honest, figuring things out is what I’ve been trying to do.

Wait, how can I pay down this AND save for that?  How can I work two jobs AND finish, edit, and launch my new book?  How can I work AND spend quality time with family and friends before I leave?  How can I really, possibly do life BIG?

I. can’t.

I need God, and thankfully, I have Him.

Whew.

UPDATE 01/09/2015.

Just something I shared on Facebook earlier today as God continues to speak to my heart on this subject:

“God, in His dealings with us, always keeps us up to the original terms.” ~ The Miscellaneous Writings of C. H. M., Vol. VI, ‘Arise, Go Up to Bethel’

I was taking apart my book tree today and found this little essay on Bethel and restoration in one of my parents’ old books. Since these are the two things God has been really speaking to me about recently, I don’t think this was random at all. (Not that I ever think anything is random, but…)

Anyway, the essay talked about how when we get off track from what God has called us to (original terms), He always calls us back. (It took Jacob twenty years and a rough season in Shechem before he got back to Bethel). I can’t fully express what how God encouraged me through this essay, except for to say that He did!

Isn’t God awesome?

(P.S. I have no idea who C. H. M. is, but my parents have six volumes of his Miscellaneous Writings. Does anybody know?)

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One thought on “When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

  1. Pingback: Bethel, the Presence of God, and Restoration | Lydia Thomas, Author

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